GOODchristmas Day 5

This morning I found myself paralyzed by the heavy weight of life. At the time I was holding Micah fast asleep in my arms, J.C. was at the table eating his yogurt so perfectly and overall it’s a time in our family that we feel so completely BLESSED. It hasn’t been easy, or without it sacrifices, but blessed never the less.

The feeling was different then a feeling of being overwhelmed. It was more like this feeling of MOURNING. Strange, but HEAVY. Like i said – overall life is blessed , but we have some difficult “life” stuff that we’re going through and having to deal with.

I kept thinking, I have so much to be thankful for, why I am feeling this way? And then I thought, what’s so wrong with mourning? Mourning can be this beautiful and freeing thing. The verse “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” came to my mind.

Today, I’m going to keep with this spirit of mourning – not in this down cast, negative self-defeating type of way. But in a way that gives a voice to the pains of others. Humbly acknowledging my losses. Being raw, authentic and vulnerable about my pains and allowing myself to grieve, but then redirecting my focus on mourning with and for others.

When I first started writing this post I was planning on focused prayer for the millions of people in Africa mourning because of the devastating losses they’ve experienced from AIDS. But then I remembered my friend saying that she has been in tears almost every night thinking about her new friend, Brizzy, that’s going to be sleeping on the streets of Santa Ana in the rain – she’s homeless.

Now Brizzy is an amazing woman. She is an older lady, so she is the perfect “candidate” the winter shelters, but “her boys” are not. Brizzy has “adopted” boys, around 10, on the street to look after and to love, after everyone else has deserted. Brizzy loves her boys too much to leave them alone – they are her family and she won’t leave family behind. So she sacrifices her needs to make sure her boys are taken care – what mom wouldn’t?

Today I will being praying for Brizzy and her boys – sharing in a spirit of mourning – for their losses, for their pains, and for the injustices in their lives. I pray – “Blessed are those who mourning, for they will be comforted.”

FYI

Organizations that are helping people like Brizzy:

Just One: Laundry Love Project – Charles Lee and Greg Russinger

Laundry Love Santa Ana – Scott Overpeck

Invisible People – Mark Horvath

The Burrito Project – Ted Tanouye

Mercy House

The Dream Center

Just to name a few.

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